Quotes compiled Junior and Senior years by Amanda C/Dulach
• I know I feel… – Jenny
• Mass destruction is generally considered a bad thing. – Jenny
• The third question is whatever it is. – Mr. Patterson
• Wandering with these two [dead] bodies. – Ms. Kirby
• What do you expect from toffee? – Random Band Girl
• A woman crying always gets her way. – Garrett
• Seeds have their own nutrients, like their lunchbox that they bring to school. – Ms. Kramer
• You sound like an old woman being tortured…and, yes, I know what that sounds like. – Matt S
• Where did those forceps go? – Ms. Kramer
• Will you please go onto my Petri dish? – Matt S
• My pants are out to get me. – Hannah
• You’re not going to stuff me in a trunk are you?  Well, that would be okay if you were Brad Pitt. – Matt F
• Non? Ah, zut! – Kendra
• Being a teenager is all about illicit sex.
• You sit in a tree?
• I hope I’ll drive you sane. – Mr. Melbach
• My hands are in a relationship before I am! – Amanda M T
• My hands have standards! – Amanda M T
• It’s like a dinosaur egg in avocado form. – Paula
• None of us got our money for our mild prostitution! – Cacia
• I need to make Richard fall in love me so I can get my CD back. – Morgan
• She has badger teeth.
• Orgy of violence. – Mr. Melbach
• He can honor a mirror in fifteen different languages? – French guy (translated)
• I wish I lived in some communist country where they didn’t let you have an education. – Random Math Girl
• Did you know that if you suck air out of the little hole in the bottom of your calculator it tastes like a shoe store? – Arthur
• You should go help him clean out his ear. – Michelle
• Matt is chasing Sean with a ping-pong paddle. – Gen
• Love is tangible.
• Love is a love of something. – Mr. Patterson
• He starts comparing him to an ugly statue with a god inside.
• He looks like an awesome cop-leprechaun. – Hannah
• You guys stop arguing about your nipples. – Matt S
• No comma yield to the dead. – Matt F
• Have a sex change and turn into a lesbian with no nose. – Arthur
• I am trying to escape the wrath of the pokey people. – Lauren
• Can I borrow your pants? – Becky
• I think you just got molested by a sleeve. – Becky
• She wasn’t brushing your pants. – Caitlin
• Amanda drew on me so I had to tear my own skin off to stop looking like a freaking rainbow. – Matt S
• I drew a nonexistent triangle not to scale. – Mr. Buck
• I need to learn how to make alpacas. – Becky
• You sound like a bear in heat being shot. – Matt S
• It better not spill anywhere but my mouth. – Lauren
• Look how beefy she is. – Mark
• My pencil gets around. – Matt F
• Everyone should wear two pairs of pants, then we could de-pants people at will. – Cara
• I should be able to bang any beautiful woman who walks into a restaurant. – Mr. Melbach
• Oozing is good. – Caitlin
• Couples, silence!  Or I will separate you and put you in opposite, facing the wall, with funny hats on your heads. – Amanda C T
• The ironing is delicious. – Mark
• Don’t give Matt the fire-thing-maker! – Mark/Caitlin
• Pizza is the universal multi-drink. – Andrew R
• She slathered mustard on her arms and licked them. – French girl (translated)
• Bich Chi is Mother Teresa in training. – Becky
• Let’s have a sex conversation. – Patrick
• I sleep with people…only we don’t really sleep. – Cacia
• We should take all the hot people in the world, put them on an island, breed them and make more hot people. – Morgan
• I know it started with a “t” and ended in “itties,” but I didn’t want to write “titties” on the board. – Amanda M T
• Some places in America still have culture…like Colfax!
• Keep your hands out of my pants. – Cody
• Big trucks with those funny looking things on the side look like they have childbearing hips. – Amanda M T
• We should have a sit-in.///In the nude?  That would be cold. – Becky/Matt F
• I’d french-kiss the Arvada Center if it was a person. – Matt F
• Katie has fat curls with love handles.
• The Bible is unsciency.
• The fruit of his broken loins. – Sara
• There are no right answers. – Ms. McCarthy
• I want something with a mango. – Dan D.
• Amanda, are you missing a nipple? – Becky
• I left mine (nipples) at home today. – KC
• Piña colada is the taste of communism. – Becky
• Turn off the lights at will!  Will Turner. – Laura
• Cooking with asbestos, rotisserie style. – Cody
• He’s like the Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory Bear. – Jessy
• I am no longer lacking in a folder. – Andrew R
• Just peel his clothes off. – Ian
• The world would be a more harmonic place if there were no males. – Ms. Talle
• They put the elephants on birth control. – Ms. Talle
• The other guy who invented calculus…I can’t remember his name but it started with an “L.”///Lucifer! – Ms. Alley/Lena
• So now she’s a slex save? – Lena
• Why wouldn’t a priest have a harem of chickens? – Matt F
• Books are from the devil and TV is twice as fast. – Laura
• Calc 392 would turn into English. – Lena
• There’s a safety-pin on your hooker. – Amanda M T
• If this concert was a relationship, it would be a quickie in the corner. – Kat
• Excuse me, Senator Mondrian, will you kiss my bottle cap? – Becky/Amanda C T
• Is this your pumpernickel? – Max
• I like delta. – Rachel
• Bluish is the new Jewish.
• Becky does not want to end up thrown into that mysterious, white trashcan of doom. – Becky
• Sounds like a lot happened in those two dates.///For three hours! – Lauren/Cacia
• His hips are falling off his butt.
• We’ve finally reached English. – Amanda C T
• Do you think it would hurt to have a gravitational anomaly between your toes? – Andrew R
• My espresso bean left me. – Caitlin
• You go out there and seduce that squirrel! – Mondrian
• She was obsessed with plant sex. – Mondrian/Torsten
• We’re trying to make a dirty joke…Get your head back in the gutter! – Sean
• I’m going to call all you white boys Skyler. –  Ms. McCarthy
• Now I’m going to cover the world in mayo. – Max
• What is it with people dropping my top? – Aaron
• When you get to college, you guys will be the shit. – Ms. McCarthy
• Lüsen höden togeterenn again. – Andrew R
• She’s a jerk because she’s trying to flatten my pants. – Alex W
• Sara just made out with Cacia’s dog.///No, she came on to me! – Andrew R/Sara
• I wish I could be Stalin. – Andrew R
• Wish corner-boy luck; he’s going to hang himself with numbers. – Andrew R
• I like to hang thing in interesting places. – Andrew R
• I’m pleasing her rhythmically. – Andrew R
• I have the pants. I have the shirt. I have the whip. I need the boots. – Alex G
• Maybe I was aiming for Caitlin’s ass. – Sara
• She’s got a bunch of my funk-ass quotes. – Mondrian
• Just check in at the end of class so I know that you didn’t go to the gas station and smoke cigarettes with your little friends or rob a convenience store. – Ms. McCarthy
• Then cleave yourself and fill her holes. – Brennan
• Then you go tra-la-la-la-la over to the dark cycle. – Brennan
• I want Mondrian to surrender his booty. – Andrew R
• Yarr!  I have more STDs than ye have fingers. Arr! – Richard
• Unless you’re like a smart-stupid person. – Dan D.
• I’m going to chop those things off, the first chance I get. – Mondrian
• Pickles are green. – Mondrian
• I’ll shiver his timbers. – Andrew R
• You nearly killed it!///It’s only a bunny. – Cody/Lena
• If you guys can’t handle your balloons.  I’ll take them away.
• Moa is a panda; a very, very smart panda. – Tony
• Lauren has such bigger boobs than me. – Andrew R
• The goodies have stayed protected. – Lauren
• Sara is saying something about biting boys’ breasts. – Caitlin
• Why am I always the slutty bitch? – Caitlin
• Your face tastes like a banana. – Aaron
• It’s virgin’s blood! – Amanda M T
• Let’s go prance gaily with boobs. – George
• Rachel, why are you so muddy?///At least I’m not sleeping with Joel!///I didn’t sleep with him, I slept on him. – Amanda C T/Rachel/Kayla
• Who was I sleeping with to get that STD?!? – Rachel
• And what does “minus” mean?///Subtract. – Ms. Alley/Christy
• Somebody got duct tape-happy with Cody. – Amanda M T
• Matt, you are a cesspool of disappointments. – Amanda M T
• You’re the most adorable herpes I have seen. – Amanda M T
• So many sweatpants, so little time. – Matt
• Misery loves company///And firearms. – Becky/Amanda M T
• The tree is trying to procreate…on us. – Becky
• I’m trying to figure out how much a 150-pound dog weighs. – Christy
• You are not a condom…you are loved. – Samiran
• I don’t care about them, they can go do something inappropriate with a cow. – Cody
• I knew it…the internet is for porn and I’m too sexy! – Cody
• Then you go tra-la-la-la-la over to the Dark Cycle. – Brennan
• I want Mondrian to surrender hi booty. – Andrew R
• Yarr!  I have more STDs than ye have fingers.  Arr! – Richard
• Unless you’re like a smart…stupid person. – Dan D.
• I’m going to chop those things off, the first chance I get! – Mondrian
• Pickles are green. – Mondrian
• I’ll shiver his timbers. – Andrew R
• If you guys can’t handle your balloons, I’ll take them away. – Ms. Alley
• When we find the jingling wench, we will have found my friend. – Becky
• So help me God, I will nut and bolt you! – Andrew R
• Aaron, are hands luscious? – Amanda M T
• It’s a play plague. – Lena
• The flea has access…but I don’t. – Ms. Kirby
• Samiran, you can’t lick right! – Amanda M T
• Someone has to flog me soon. – Becky
• If I’m paying for it, they will stick a Q-tip wherever I want them to. – Matt F
• I have organic boobs. – Fiona
• I didn’t know my hand would fit in there. – Amanda M T
• Super-size yourself with the assessment criteria. – Dr. Neal
• You can’t lactate in the snow. – Amanda M T
• I was the big, tall, blue thing. – Andrew R
• I’m so proud of myself…I need a cookie. – Lena
• I want to be a dodo bird. – Jordan
• I didn’t know Ju-Jitsu existed back then. – Ms. McCarthy
• If this is what being hung is like, it’s not that bad. – Alex G
• When did the cells have a say? – Matt F
• I’m allergic to plant sex. – Andrew R
• Olivia and Hamlet’s relationship… - Ms. Kirby
• If I had a mug shot taken, I’d use it as my senior picture. – Ian
• I do have standards, they might be low, but I have standards. – Ms. McCarthy
• Maybe life is like Halo and we’re all playing wrong. – Quintin
• Where’s my soul? – Marc B
• Why did your man say that your girl say that we jumped him? – Random guy in hall
• No one can pull off Andrew as well as Andrew can. – Aaron
• She is the uber-mountain and I’m the mini-mountain. – Andrew R
• Go fuck a goose! – Dan D.
• Aaron, you shouldn’t fondle yourself in class. – Caitlin
• It would have to be very long to curve like that. – Caitlin
• Black people who eat carrots with their left hand are evil. – Christy
• But I like old ladies. – Dan D.
• Why are your hands so cold?///Because I have no soul. – Amanda C T/George
• Because I really believe you guys had sex in history with McCarthy. – Ashley
• Oh, come on, like you’ve never seen an ugly puppy before. – Lena
• I wasn’t dancing, I was trying to kill you! – Torsten
• Matt, you can’t drag women around like objects. – Becky
• Zipei, I would like to thank you for distracting Matt long enough for us to abduct and rape his girlfriend. – Amanda C T
• Peanutbuttering whore! – Matt S
• You won't even know its there WHEN BOOM!  YOU JUST GOT TORPED, BEEATCH!! – Cody
• Andrew, you scraped her boob with your ruler and you call what I do bad? – Matt
• His oil would power a kung-fu machine like none other. – Andrew R
• Where is Shikamaru’s crotch?///Right in the middle of his hands! – Laura/Amanda CT
• His hand movements are really funny to watch…it’s like he’s squeezing it. – Laura
• Alex, don’t hump Amanda’s dog. – Mindy
• I don’t think I have any naked baby pictures.///Well, we’ll make them. – Mindy/Amanda M T
• It’s like a hundred-million-thousand degrees!///Or like 425, whatever. –Alex///Amanda M T
• Stay away from Mountain Dew,
     Yellow 5 is bad for you.
     To keep your boys nice and fresh,
     Use boxers, cold and lots of cash.
     To keep little Johnny happy,
     Just give him a little tappy,
     He’ll rise right up and do a dance,
     Right inside your underpants.
     – Amanda M T/Mondrian
• Can you see Dugger doing this?///What, doing the sheep? – Amanda M T/Ryan
• Are you flirting with my dog? – Amanda M T
• Why kan elves dry by themselves? – Sara
• Sean have you been raping Cody again? – Matt S
• Cody may I please see your thingy? – Lena
• Lena, Lena, he’s touching Cody’s thingy.///No, he’s stroking Cody’s thingy. – Brennan/Caitlin
• In a bowl?///Well, you have to keep your balls somewhere. – Lauren/Andrew R
• Jack, I want to see your mannequin! – Random guy at Jack’s Mannequin concert
• I didn’t thrust, I came. – Matt F
• My sperm have no sense of direction, how do you think they’ll make it? – Matt
• They’re calling in the bikinis so we know where not to touch. – Becky
• Anyone got any food for a hand job? – Random girl in smoker’s pit
• It’s a block of cafeteria goodness. – Becky (about box of frozen orange juice)
• I would much rather be the penetrator than the penetratee. – Dan D.
• You don’t deserve a uterus. – Lauren
• You can’t just jack off and eject eggs. – Sara
• Chow mien means zombies fucking each other. – Sara
• It’s not footsie if only one person is playing. – Amanda M T
• I’m not a projectile for old men. – Becky
• I didn’t know your clothes came off that quickly. – Andrew L
• We can’t all be Matt’s girlfriend. – Andrew L
• Are bras supposed to keep your nipples from showing? – Katie B
• It was an accident; I didn’t know they came back that far. – Dan D.
• We can do it together.///Will you do me? – Dan D./Sammy
• All my dreams have come true now.  My list is finished. – Dan D. (after being in bed with Andrew R)
• Oh look, there’s a wet spot all of a sudden. – Dan D.
• I don’t eat my poo!///That was shampoo, not poo. – Dan D./Amanda M T
• No one can pull off Andrew as well as Andrew can. – Aaron
• She is the uber-mountain and I’m the mini-mountain.  – Andrew
• Go fuck a goose. – Daniel
• Aaron, you shouldn’t fondle yourself in class. – Caitlin
• It would have to be very long to curve like that. – Caitlin
• Black people who eat carrots with their left hand are evil. – Christy
• But I like old ladies. – Dan D.
• Why are your hands so cold?///Because I have no soul. – Amanda C T/George
• Because I really believe you guys had sex in history with McCarthy. – Ashley
• Oh come on.  Like you’ve never seen an ugly puppy before.  Lena
• My blood is no longer virgin.  – Amanda C T
• You’re just cranky because you didn’t get to crush my nuts. – Andrew L
• If I was raped, I’d be pretty downtrodden. – Garret
• I can go into the bathroom and start cutting myself if you want. – Ms. McCarthy
• He sexed me up… And I didn’t like it.  – Andrew R.
• He only shaves once a week…. Because the rest of the days he shaves his legs.  – Amanda M T
• Take your shirt off! – Lauren
• Thrust your bosom forward into the new day.  – Matt F
• My dad says you have to bring your own drugs and booze.///Yes, I’m in.///Sara he wasn’t serious! – Lauren/Sara/Lauren
• Don’t you think that Indian people look like Satan? – Dan D.
• Christmas is a Christian holiday – Dan D.
• Does Jesus control the weather? – Morgan
• Ms. Byrnes gave me a DBQ due at midnight.///Have your brother go sleep with her so you don’t have to do it. – Sarah/Stephan
• I’m really glad you got your clothes back…I was this close to putting them on. – Andrew R.
• Cones are not freaks, Andrew!  - Alex W.
• It looks like an autobiography, it smells like an autobiography, but it tastes like a novel.  – Donovan
• Andrew, park it!  Anyone with blue hair requires constant discipline. – Ms. Frazer
• What about your mustache?///It is big and long. – Brennan/Nalleli
• This is what your backyard would look like if it hadn’t slept in months and was on hallucinogens. - Max
• You’ve threatened my penis so many times it’s lost all meaning – Dan D. (to Amanda M T)
• I don’t have a nipple on my face!///You don’t? – Dan D./AMT
• How do you spell dying?... D.Y.I.N.G.///D.Y.?!? – Kirby/Matt F
• Sin tastes like bacon. – Andrew R
• I’ll take you down and spit in your ear.  – Ms. Kirby
• I’ve turned in all my assignments, Mr. Guisto.  You have no reason to break my fingers.  – Ian
• My mom gets pissed when I watch Bravo cause she thinks I’m a lesbian. – Becky
• Why won’t you love me! Why won’t you freaking love me. – Random guy playing video games
• Get your secretive finger out of my hole. – Andrew R
• I saw this show where a girl died, and it made want to do it. – Laura
• It’s very strong water. – Robin
• That’s why you’re in IB and I’m not. – Ms. McCarthy
• Wouldn’t it be cool if the Green party started feeding everyone to alligators? – Caitlin/Brennan
• I want to curl up in a corner and believe that I am orange juice. – Andrew R
• I’m a very friendly person and I like to smell people. – Matt F
• Reading it was like walking through water with my clothes on. – Samiran
• That’s what people with half a brain cell would do. – Ms. McCarthy
• If a guy takes you to a Thai restaurant, he’s trying to get in your pants. – Ms. McCarthy
• Please, take them outside, beat them, I don’t care. – Ms. McCarthy
• I’m always telling my regular kids to shut up. – Ms. McCarthy
• You know a high school student is lying if their mouth is moving. – Ms. McCarthy
• I think Dugger leads to sodomy, not gay marriage. – Amanda M T
• Can you ever get tired of sex?///YES, if your vagina rips!! – Brennan/Amanda M T
• I’m not done playing with Amanda! – Brennan
• We’re going to yawp over the rooftops of the world, wanna join? – Cacia
• My ass compressed a stick. – Jordan
• You have a vortex in your pants? – Becky
• Those were my friends: sewers! – Samiran
• It wasn’t bad for a Democrat because Democrats are vile, evil things. – Dan D.
• Stab my ovaries…if you dare! – Mondrian
• But, wouldn’t the man have to rape the pie first? – Aaron
• Is semen a preservative? – Dan D.
• Because it doesn’t have a choice, it’s waiting to be raped. – Mondrian
• The squirrels were banging so hard they fell out of the tree.
• The elevator looked like a concentration camp. – Becky
• You need to do drugs and stuff like that. – Ms. Talle
• Like a person who is addicted to meth wants meth, I want Mountain Dew. – KC
• Get in one way or another you freak of nature!
• Sean is raping Gen’s tail.
• Sean is chasing Amanda with a pubic hair…no, two pubic hairs!
• Do not have beers at lunch before class.
• I’ll GPS your face! – Cody
• Why are you dumping fries down her shirt? – Joel
• Stop massaging the tree in a sexual way. – Ashley
• I don’t live in a cat with a house in it. – Andrew R
• He was a good-looking Pomeranian, that’s for sure. – Sara
• I just want to put somebody’s body in my mouth. – Morgan
• I am a walking, talking, living, breathing lunchbox. – Andrew R
• God told me to!///I did not! – Marc/Torsten
• I hate it when old people eat. – Aaron
• Quit petting’ my fuzz! – Mondrian
• So you can be a five-foot tall, toothless, skinny peasant?  I don’t think so. – Ms. McCarthy
• You got more action than a water bottle, baby. – Ashley
• That thing [Math IA] is going home…into the barbeque. – Lena
• Some people wake up to Regis and Kelly, I wake up to Dorsee Tucker and Mussolini. – Lena
• Damn it!  It is what it is! – Ms. Kirby
• My ovaries don’t rattle when I walk. – Amanda C T
• I like cold nights with a nice warm fire and a big cup of ecstasy with marshmallows. – Richard
• Come on my little pansyation. – Chris
• Chances are small that it will blow out your teeth. – Einar
• Are polar bears soluble? – Max
• Nalleli wears the pants that I am trying to get into. – Ryan
• We’re getting my ovary. – Andrew L
• Did he molest you? – Lena
• I’d give you some but you already have a lot. – Andrew L
• My pants are wet! – Sean
• They’re not as perky as you think they are. – Amanda M T
• I think my ears are being raped. – Sean
• I wish my ass vibrated.
• Thank God the petting stopped. – Matt S
• Bitch, give me my belt back. – Marc
• He’s got creepy eyes…like a pedophile. – Joel
• Is it wrong that I feel like stripping? – Lena
• If g is equal to fnarf fnarf… - Lena
• My lil’ Romeo is dying. – Andrew R
• I wish I did god. – Erin
• I can do anything Stalin can do.  Short of sending you to a Gulag or torturing you. – Ms. McCarthy
• No mustache, except this peach fuzz that I wax off. – Ms. McCarthy
• Lab design is an art. – Mr. Moore
• There’s not a butterfly is South America with a weather machine and an evil mustache saying “Ooh! Hurricane Katrina!” – Max
• There’s scarring, then there’s “Oh, my God!  That zombie just ate my wizard!” scarring. – Andrew R
• Let’s see the suckers bleed when I burn their bleeding-holes closed! – Andrew R
• Lots of drunks and winos end up as human popsicles on the side of the road. – Ms. Talle
• No, it’s like poo-pee! – Ms. Talle
• Do you realize if we all poo-peed it would save a lot of time? – Ashley
• She’s so rape-able. – Ryan
• Someone tore your Overy. – Mindy
• I wish my homework was asexual.  Then it would do itself. – Amanda M T
• You guys never laugh at any of my jokes.///Maybe, if you told good ones, we would. – Ms. McCarthy/Greta
• I think I’m in love with Razinsky. – Ms. McCarthy
• God answers Unitarian prayers. – Jessy
• Our bridge will fold faster than Superman on laundry day. – Ryan
• They use dirt and rocks as their technology in Zimbabwe. – Ms. Alley
• Dugger, you’re a perfectly good waste of a condom. – Katie S
• I want to be a milf. – Amanda M T
• I will gladly take off my pants. – Matt F
• I do it in front. – Nalleli
• Mine’s 100% natural. – Nalleli
• Andrew, why is it that at every party you go to you manage to get in the bathroom with another guy? – Amanda C T
• Die Another Day isn’t a Bond movie; it’s a documentary on Halle Berry’s breasts. – Andrew R
• Tell us when it’s big. – Morgan
• Is it big?///It’s very big.
    Is it upright?///It’s very upright.
    Is it hot?///It’s very hot.
    – Morgan/Sara
• My tongue went way in there. – Matt F
• I consider frogs plants.  If it is green, I consider it a plant.  Vegetarians can eat frogs. – Andrew R
• His motions aren’t very good either.
• Scoot over or I’ll nip your stick. – Matt F
• I’m not going to tell you because I’m not a cracker. – Sara
• I won’t blow you up…I’m very smart. – Sevy
• This thing is rather fun to suck on. – Cacia
• You are in IB delinquent. – Mr. LeNoble
• He wasn’t biting, he was nibbling. – Cacia
• It wouldn’t be Senior Hall if there wasn’t sexual molestation. – Becky
• It makes more sense to be a gay guy because they have an appendage to please each other with rather than having to use a finger or a toy…it just makes sense! – Katie B
• How are you?///I’d be better if I was stoned. – Amanda C T/Chris
• You are a bitch and I love you. – George
• I enjoy your grammar. – Morgan
• In about two seconds I’m going to be al over Cacia’s boob. – Andrew R
• She put four fingers in my pocket! – Lauren
• Stop attacking me with noodles in your mouth. – Lauren
• Just try and baby-sit me, just try!  You’ll see what happens. – Lauren
• All mine make me sound like whore. – Morgan
• Wanna bet?!///How much?///The rest of my chai. – Cacia/Amanda C T
• Make that sound again!///I don’t know if I can. – Cacia/Lauren
• Look, Morgan’s lactating! – Lauren
• In fact, he quite enjoyed taking me. – Andrew R
• You can tango on my back anytime you want. – Alex
• There are two reasons to go to the theatre this Christmas. – Alex
• You know you liked it last time.
• I couldn’t even find my pants afterward. – Andrew R
• This is the one that rejected me for Homecoming.///Sorry, Mr. LeNoble asked me first. – Andrew R/John (the security guard)
• Are we turning your little fort into a palace of sex? – Andrew R
• I was following this guy down the hall and I was staring at his ass and thinking it was really hot.  Then I realized that he was wearing my pants.  I think I’m attracted to my own ass. – Becky
• If I was a fireman, I could make this Extended Essay interesting for all you ladies. – Ms. McCarthy
• I don’t think cardboard is my calling in life. – Marissa
• A bell curve of all the IB students around za vorld. – Ms. Kirby
• That name will never be spoken on stage! – Ms. Willmarth
• It’s a lot harder to brush away genital herpes. – Aaron
• Lauren does put her finger in things a lot. – Dan D.
• Get a room!///I don’t think they’re fucking, Sean. – Sean/Lauren
• Only fascists fart. – Ashley/Amanda M T
• I’m watching Dumb and Dumber. – Ms. Alley
• Why won’t you love me?!?  Why won’t you freaking love me?!? – Random Guy playing video games
• Statesmanship and hooliganism are often one in the same. – Ms. Frazer
• I’m a dead weasel. – Jessy
• Don’t open so wide, I’m not that big. – marc
• I’m looking forward to it, because people don’t wear clothes in hell. – Matt F
• It’s in script, and script on boobs is hard to read, you kinda have to stare. – Jessy
• Does Germany touch Russia?///Inappropriately?!? – David/Nicole
• What do summations turn into?///Drugs! – Mr. Peterson/Kat
• I totally under-got it! Lena
• These pants make me look like I have a penis.///Can I kiss it? – Amanda M T/Cacia
• I just got died by an OCD. – Aaron
• Ovulation is a miniature Hollywood explosion.
• There’s a lot of other stuff you eat, like apples and grapes, occasionally a granola bar, and curry! – Samiran
• Arthur, if you do, I wouldn’t tarry in the parking lot. – Ms Frazer
• That can be kind of messy. – Ms. Talle
• Stop stealing my pants! – Random girl in hall
• I just got binged.
• It means you’re rockin’!!///I know…don’t ever say that again, Ryan. – Ryan/Amanda M T
• It’s closer, but it’s far enough away that your mom won’t walk in on you while you’re drunk and having sex. – Aaron
• We’re going to be so happy together.///Bullshit! – Richard/Julia
• I’ll be 18 in March, does that make me old enough to stick nose up my spoons? – Aaron
• You follow women around with a ring in your nose! – Ms. Kirby
• We’re going to tie me to the front of one semi, Rachel to the front of another, ram them together and you get a CodyRachel. – Cody
• What happened to your boobs?///They got wet thanks to Dugger. – Caitlin/Sara
• So the only way to prevent it is to wrap the guy in saran wrap. – Dr. Miller
• Violins, what is that note?///H! – Mr. Harris/Michael
• What are they doing?///They’re raping each other. – Amanda C T/Freshie (Kayla)
• The cloak is billowing into my deskal area. – Cora
• Do you want to gain access to my citadel? – Becky
• So, you’re blowing down the highway in a controlled explosion. – Mr. Moore
• This conversation smells like Black Death. – Aaron
• My crotch is so much warmer than your hands. – Richard
• Why are you both wet?///We went home to take a shower together. – Amanda C T/Joel
• I hope you don’t mind my knees, they’re really quite nice. – Katie
• 4x +4 = unicorn
• I will give you ferval veedback. – Ms. Kirby
• I’m in love with Becky’s nipple. – Ashley
• Keep your nose out of my boobs! – Amanda M T (to Matt S)
• I’m smoking the fruits of my labor. – Cameron
• They’re born in the bore, they grow up in the bore and they get a higher education in the bore.
• What’s Ryan boinking today? – Matt S
• Wants to get down with her? – Ms. Kirby
• I’m 54, do you think I’m a prune? – Ms. Kirby
• Japan is an island of nothing. – Ms. McCarthy
• It’s raining cornbread! – Christy
• Why does your soul look like leukemia pee? – Amanda M T
• What’s the purpose of a mole rat?///Well, what’s the purpose of mosquitoes?///They’re just so ugly! – Dee/Ms. Talle/Dee
• It’s a wavicle. – Mr. Moore
• Stop stroking yourself. – Caitlin
• Your hand is supervising! – Cody
• Time spent wasted is not wasted time. – Partition in Bio room
• If that’s elevator music, then this is the elevator of death. – Cody
• It’s a square cylinder. – Christy
• If I wanted more dances, I would do something like life guarding, and show off my “guns.” - Kevin
• I’d never slit my wrists, I only fantasize about it, especially when I’m at school. – Ms. McCarthy
• You, me!  We have 10 minutes, passing.  Let’s go! – Becky
• Ms. Kirby, sorry I’m late; his belt had extra buckles today. – Becky
• If you want to get some action, you don’t buy the girl a stripper! – Becky
• In the animal kingdom, my vagina would be like the alpha-vagina. – Richard
• Garrett, take of your sunglasses; your future’s not that bright. – Ms. Byrnes
• He has a burrito, you have a taco, and together you make a meal! – Brennan
• You could do Stalin backwards and forwards. – Ms. McCarthy
• She was  having mad earring sex with your zipper. – Becky
• Don’t put my glasses in the hole! – Sara
• Yea I don't have guns, I got grenades…no wait, not grenades…I have  bows…yea bows.  Imagine saying this "check out my epic bow!" *flex*  That’s great I will have to use that from now on when someone says "check out them guns" the response will be "its not a gun its an epic bow." - Kevin
• You are not getting a picture of my body part!!! – Kevin
• When do you walk through water?///It’s not water…it’s blood. – Zach/Lee
• If I ever have any children, they are going to be mounted on the wall. – Lee
• Little kids always want to touch mine. – Nicky
• Almost doesn’t count except in hand grenades and horseshoes. – Zach
• I hope you get prostate cancer!!!
• Who the hell is this Sara and why is she naming my shit?!? – Lee
• Please don’t put your stiletto elbows in my stomach. – Zach
• Laura, your ass is always so painful. – Robin
• She put nose-foil in her hair. – Robin
• I’ve had dreams about eating frogs. – Robin
• Both of them are going insane because you have a dangling cord. – Zach
• I like my dragon hairy. – Lee
• I wish we had peach butts.///Peach butts are good. – Lee/Zach
• I don’t want your sticky on me! – Robin
• Zach has been sticking his crotch in people’s faces. – Robin
• All men look better scruffy, scruffy is good. – Robin
• Laura likes smooth, greasy men; I like scruffy, dirty ones. – Robin
• None of my children need education because they’re snakes. - Laura
• Naked men don't pay the bills! - Ms. Airey
• My boobs are fluffed enough! - Nicky
• Dr. Hisa Tsutsui's FAQ:
Q: What if I screwed up on quizzes or exams?
A: We can still be friends.
• If you come to my door, and I'm not dead, feel free to talk to me. If you come to my door, and I am dead, please call 911. - Dr. Tsutsui